1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
-I want to know have more detail about why you want to go to Madison, or what you want to do as a career, or major in college. This would help me to understand why you want to go to Madison as your first choice.
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
-Another source might be a person who is already in college, that is sharing about why they chose their school, or what school was their first choice. The lead does involve me in the story, because it makes me want to know more about the college search
3. Do the first 450 words contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Yes, I think that your personal description of your college search, and your first choice of Madison as a college
4. What questions would you like answered in the next 300 words? What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
I would definitely want to hear more about Madison, and what makes it a good school for you, I would also like to know what you want your major to be.
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